keto/sugar-free beef jerky recipe

food,smoking — commander flatus @ 1:33 pm July 20, 2019

I generally hate food blogs. The unctuous writing. The loathsome abundance of worthless content before the actual recipe. I especially dread the Q&A type worthless content – “Is jerky right for me”?

Anyway, I generally didn’t like any of the recipes I found online so I decided to wing it and make my own. This is my first attempt at this and I will revise or make a future post if this doesn’t come out well.
Food blog-esque high quality pics.
On to the recipe:
1.75 lbs top round, sliced, beaten with a meat tenderizer (a flat one, not a spikey one)
1 cup each Worcester sauce, soy sauce, and Diet Coke
2 Tsp salt
2 Tsp garlic powder 
1 tsp cayenne 
Marinated overnight 
I put them on my pellet grill (I have a Rec-Tec) on the “Low” setting which is about 180F for 2 hours before even checking on them. I recently got a jerky rack thing off Amazon – it’s a Traeger brand but fits fine I have a Rec-Tec “Stampede”. It would probably be best in the future to load up the rack on a cookie sheet and then put the rack in the grill. Looks like it could hold 3-4 lbs or so. These cooked for a total of 3 hours.

Ici nous avons le jerky du bouef.

 The finished product could use a little more salt and sweet flavor. Spiciness is at the correct level. I’m generally happy with the result.

commander flatus’s mom’s new orleans barbecue shwimp recipe

food — commander flatus @ 3:32 am June 23, 2013

1 cup butter
2 cups olive oil
1 cup Worcestershire sauce
4 lemons halved then quartered
2 teaspoons cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon italian seasoning
4 sprigs fresh rosemary
1 pod garlic, peeled
1 teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons chef paul prudhomme seafood magic
4-5 pounds large shrimp weighed before you remove the heads

here’s the commentary:
use like 2 sticks of butter and the same amount of olive oil, you can’t tell the difference except you won’t have a heart attack when you’re 40
use 2 lemons instead of 4 – 4 is way too many
use 2 pods of garlic. garlic. garlic. garlic. beer. scotch. bourbon. bacon. garlic. what else do you need, really?
maybe use more rosemary too – like 6 or 8 sprigs – take the little leaves off the stick and throw out the stick

OK – it’s easy – take everything except the shrimps mix well, low heat and reduce uncovered at least 30 minutes. lemon should just look like brown stained peels. garlic should be soft-ish and taking on the color of the sauce.
now here’s the real trick part – turn off the heat and let it sit for several hours. if you can’t do this part, don’t worry. it’s still great. but making it around lunchtime and then letting it sit until dinner gets the lemon soft, mild and delicious and gets the garlic all tasty too.
when you’re ready to eat, throw in the shrimp and cook for 10-15 minutes uncovered on low heat in their shells without their heads. 
shrimp should get orange and curl up.
serve with pasta or warm bread.
have fun.



food,photography — commander flatus @ 9:41 pm December 18, 2011

Location:New York


food,stupid — commander flatus @ 1:08 pm November 26, 2011

Nothing I appreciate more than the fact that any low-grade idiot with a keyboard can post whatever they want on the internet. My latest find comes from “Anne F” and the Mannsfield-Storrs Patch (of idiots, one would assume). The article covers brining turkeys. I was looking for a decent brine recipe for Thankspigging.

To wit:
In an era of health consciousness, high blood pressure and many out of shape, it seems lunacy for someone to recommend, and a responsible news service to report, a recipe that soaks a healthful food (turkey) in pure salt. Why not just take a syringe with the brine water and mainline it into a vein? Nutso!”

Yes, “Anne F”, yes! The overwhelming evidence that salt is so terrible for you (please note my sarcasm). Dietary sodium intake has much contradictory evidence as to whether it worsens blood pressure. I’m also unaware of any evidence linking sodium intake with “out of shape”. Further, when brining not all of the salt is absorbed into the meat.

Let’s also not forget about evidence that turkey isn’t really a “healthful food”, oh and what about this, too? Let’s also remember that cooking meat is also bad for you.

So let’s all just gnaw on some bark! Congrats “Anne F” you are my idiot of the month (and in front running for idiot of the year).


beer,food — commander flatus @ 2:17 pm November 23, 2011

Behold a new American holiday – Thankspigging!


food,italy,travel — commander flatus @ 2:40 pm April 5, 2011

Grilled local sausage with white beans. Mmmmmmmmm.

Fundamental truth #1

food — commander flatus @ 4:53 pm March 23, 2011

Never in the history of mankind has anyone ever uttered the words: “cooked carrots are just delicious”

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